I had a discussion with Jibrail earlier in the evening. Basically, the decision is final. Kigatsuku and Alam Shah Alam had decided on the decision and it still holds.
I am to only think of myself and my family. The decision that was made will be the proof that nothing that I do will change [] (the) decision that was made. I[f] (It) is the evidence against the human race.
I am free to live my life as I deem fit.
Hahaha... Darkness was singing along The Dancing Queen by ABBA. Yes, I had decided to befriend Darkness rather than meddle with the masses.
Yes, back to our discussion. I decided to be free to live life in isolation. At this point, I don't see a need for me to run Bukit Kiara. Therefore, I will take my time to train myself.
I still enjoy smoking cigarettes. So I will smoke until the Chinese New Year. After that, I decided to continue with Nicorette. Training will start slowly. I want to enjoy the journey.
At least I now know what I should waste my money on.
At the same time, I had found my purpose in life. That is to be thin and to run. At the same time, I should enjoy having Nicorette. Nothing else. I spend my allowance on Nicorette. Five Nicorette a day. That is my quota.
That allows me to train for my run. At best, I run 10 km max. Only if I can run 10 km, then I'll do 22 km, no specific date.
After all, I have unlimited power. I should not be behaving like somebody's whipping boy just to please a few people with deep pockets. The deal is firm. So a breach of contract means they are going for the harshest penalty.
So, money o[f] (or) no money, the decision is final. No ONE TRIBE, no deal. Yes, I had shifted the goalposts several times. This time it is final. I want to get on with my life.
Lizzie's words keep ringing in my ears, "Sometimes you got to be selfish to be kind to yourself,"
Even if I do run the 22 km Bukit Kiara Hill Run, I will do it for myself, My prayer is for me and my House of Sha.
OK...
I want to have a chat with Darkness. She just called.
Brb.
SJ 4964
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