24/2/24 I know now that for me to be motivated, I have to write

 I need to write to maintain perspective.

So write I shall...

Even if what I write is repetitive.

Tonight I will skip dinner.  I am going to have lasagna for lunch tomorrow.

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I have decided what to do for the months to come.  I have to make this the Golden Reign of the Wood Dragon.  I will train for the 22 km Bukit Kiara Hill Run.  I'll give it my best shot.

However, the 4 Strikes at the Lote Tree is final:

This is it.  I am not going to change that.  As for the run, I'll give my best effort.  Keeping in mind that I will complete 22 km either through running or walking.

I have mentally prepared for the worst.  In this case, there is a high probability that I will not get paid.  So the 4 Strikes are my preemptive move.

In the past, there were so many possibilities. That's why I have to make a stand that favors me in the long run.  In that sense, I reduce uncertainty.

What it means is, in the long run, I take care of my interest.  This is in line with Lizzie's advice of me being kind to myself.

SJ 4964