I smoke, I don't sleep well, I gain weight, and I don't exercise.
I am a recipe for disaster.
Last night, I watched Einstein and the Bomb. Einstein smoked. That may be the cue. Just do what makes you happy.
I was happy when I smoked cigarettes.
That is how twisted I am right now. I am losing to the Dark Force. The only way to fight it is to keep reaffirming that I am a Smoke-Free Person.
This is the tragedy of hedonism. I am sucked into it.
From now on I will fight it tooth and nail. No more hedonistic life. I have to pursue [] (the) life of a Spartan.
This can't go on. I was on the right footing. Then Dark Depression hit me. I will persist until I succeed.
The remedy is to keep on writing, no matter how mundane it is.
I will carry on writing as if I am a drunk. For no other reason than to make sense out of my life. This is bad. I need to have control. Otherwise, my life will be in chaos.
I am [] (a) champion. I should not give in to the circumstances of life. I create my own circumstances.
SJ 4964
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