I can quit eventually. Wait for day 28.
Other than that I am marking time.
Whatever it is, wait for 28 days.
There is this thought, of thinking that I don't want all this. Of wanting to smoke, eat, drink, and be merry.
This [] (is) thought of conformity. A dangerous thought. Of amounting to nothing.
If I follow this thought I will amount to nothing. I don't want that. Wasting money on cigarettes and falling below mediocrity.
I will do a lot of things.
What I will not do is smoke cigarettes. NEVER SMOKE AGAIN. NO MORE NICOTINE. I'll wait until 31/3/24. Then the gate to possibility will be wide open.
Can you[r] believe it? After all the years of fighting cigarettes, I still fight cigarettes in my final battle?
What does that tell you?
If cigarettes don't give up on me, I will not give up on myself either.
I am struggling with the Devil. I will win.
I may compromise on my fast but I will never surrender to nicotine.
Not now, on this final battle.
SJ 4964
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