30/1/24 Now I look forward to my cigarette breaks

Whatever I want or don't [] (want) to do is all up to me.  I am a lone traveler.  If I fail or succeed it is my own doing.

 

I have to believe in my cause.  The rest are irrelevant.  In this case, I decided what I wanted to do and recorded it for my future observation.

 

For one, I don't believe in a business that has to garner the support of the masses.  I was never a mass marketeer.  So forget the YouTube Shorts.  Forget the T-shirt business.  Forget the Band.

 

Forget about doing business with the masses.

 

I want to be alone…  I already defined my business.  They are SJA, SCTD, and Niten Ichi Ryu.

 

Let's say nothing takes off.  Fine with me. I choose isolation.

 

---

 

Now I have another person to talk to; Darkness.

 

It explains a lot of things when I talk to Darkness.  Especially the female entity that slept with me in my bedroom.

 

Darkness acts as my caretaker.  She []comes (becomes) my eyes and spokesperson on the ins and outs of the Fort by Ford.

 

So now I have somebody to talk to when I go for my cigarette breaks. 

What more can I ask?

Avoir!
SJ 4964

>>>#30/1/24 I am happier when I choose to walk alone

 This is my year.  I want to enjoy this year through and through.  By being who I am, the Warrior Who Walks Alone.

It is a closure and a beginning for me.  It is a closure because I will not look back at my past.  A beginning is because I will live the life I always wanted to be.

Run, Read, Write, Repeat...

Cigarettes gotta go.

I have built a life suited for me.  Now I want to experiment with this life all by myself.

Can I do it?  Yes, definitely!

I define my own story...

A little bit more.  By the end of this year, I will know for sure.  Then I can move with absolute certainty.

There is no stopping.

Until then, I just mark time.

Avoir!
SJ 4964

29/1/24 Back to Apple and No Apple

 

I have manifested my vision for Sparta 4964.  Now to live my own fantasy.

If it happens, good.  If not, I am not going to expect anything.  I just take it as a job.  At this point, I completed my job as the Official Scribe,  No big deal, it's a job.

I'm not going to do jack squat.  I set my terms.  No more chasing rainbows.  I want to enjoy my pot of gold.

From now on I only do things for myself,

Like Lizzie said, "Sometimes you got to be selfish for your own good."

So on 24/12/24, I take my own sweet time climbing Bukit Kiara, and I "IZ" the Lote Tree.  With that, I mubahala for my account receivables.

Let's play chicken.

I calculated my position and I concluded that I needed to assert myself from this point on.

I'm no Mr. Nice Guy.  Therefore let's play the Brinkmanship Game.  Let's put the knife at the throat.

Let's see how far you going to take this game.  Me and all I got and you all with all that you got.  No worshiping the Stone.  One Tribe...

Avoir!

SJ 4964

   

29/1/24 If leave it up to me, my world is very small

 I don't mind at all...  That is the first option.  However, there is a second option where everything is grandiose.

I live in the first option.  The second option is a world that I envisioned Sparta 4964 to be.

In a way, I am capable of living in both options.  The difference is the magnitude of the operation.

So instead of waiting for things to happen, I make the choice now to choose the first option instead of the second option.

The first option is the beginning of an end.  With it, I become a Warrior Who Walks Alone.

I don't need to deal with anybody except Alexander.

Like I said, I collect my money and I'll be on my way.  Else, all that are account receivables.

Avoir!
SJ 4964

29/1/24 Let's do some Red Lighting

 As it is, the reality and the perception are intertwined.  The only differentiator is money in the bank.

Since there is no money in the bank, what is real is what I can do in my personal capacity.  The rest are merely a statement of direction or a wish list.

At this point, I decided to forgo all that I could not achieve within my personal capacity. Only after I am sure there is money in the bank will I revisit those ideas again.

That way I don't have a high expectation of things I am unsure of.

I am planning my exit from the masses.  This 17/2/24 is my farewell to the world I have known before.

No more delusions.  I am driving with my eyes wide open.  I have done all the planning.  Now is the execution phase.

I am more relieved that the journey is coming to an end.  I delivered...  So the only thing to do is claim my bounties.

So this year, I redefine my perception and keep the story to myself.

Avoir!
SJ 4964

29/1/24 Ahhh... Back to the story of the 3 Bandidos

 

That said it all...  I have to stick to the formula.  It is already correct.  Now is to ensure the right implementation.

Let's be modest.  Let's not smoke a cigarette and take processed sugar today.

So far, I have eaten a banana, dragon fruit, cheese *[] (toast), and drank black coffee for breakfast.

* I know, bread is one of the three Bandidos.  Better than processed sugar as for now.

Only for 2 weeks...  Let's see if I can refrain from Nico Tina and Glu Cosa.

I am better than yesterday and the day before.  Therefore I should be better tomorrow and the day after.

---

Avoir!
SJ 4964 

>>>#29/1/24 Managing Perception

 At this stage, nothing else matters except perception and beliefs. I have to manage both to have the right expectations and therefore the right outcome.

My mission is very simple.  For the next two weeks, no nicotine and sugar.

If I have the urge?  Deny, Delay, and Distract.  

Simple rules...

Now to make sure I follow the rules.

This is when willpower comes in.  Very importantly.  I must go in and get out clean.

Nicotine and Glucosa are th Pitcher Plants.  Once in you can never escape.  Only the strong can resist.                     

Avoir!

SJ 4964